Jules Deelder

We were sitting in Bakker Bart on the Lijnbaan in Rotterdam eating pizzas together in between violin and school when Jules Deelder strolled by.

I said to the kids, "Look, there's Jules Deelder!" He paused, slinking over to light a cigarette, and kept on going. My son, "What is he doing walking around?" He just walks around like everyone else, was my reply.

I don't see him often, but I have seen him walking around before. He was the DJ at last year's Poetry International spinning his vast collection of jazz music. I caught my first glimpse of him at the Lezersfeest several years ago. An entire floor of the Rotterdam library was packed with his fans, and we had to stand at the back. He sat at a table in a black 30s-style suit, purple shirt, black tie, tinted glasses, black hair slicked back in a heavy douse of pommade. He does know how to make an impression.

He's known as the Night Mayor of Rotterdam. I'd wanted to find a poem of his on the internet, and translate it for you, but all I've come across so far is a monologue about Amsterdam on YouTube, and other clips.

It's a caustic monologue of a Rotterdam woman talking about an Amsterdam woman. He refers to the monologue as a "curse." It's so full of Dutch slang, dialect, and curse words, it doesn't translate well, but it's funny to hear. The type of person he depicts is totally idiomatic to Dutch society. There are a lot of Rotterdam people who hate Amsterdam, and vice versa, so it's also a play on that. He makes reference to the war, to Rotterdam being destroyed, etc. Rotterdamers are also often stereotyped as rough, crude, uncultivated, but I don't think these are traits particular to people from Rotterdam, although they do abound.

He has a special, authentic Dutch quality, an ultra-Hollander who personifies Dutchness in his accent, wit, dress style. A real eccentric figure, but a good one. I had to listen to the monologue several times to understand some things. It's a great test of your Dutch language skill, if you're proficient at all, give it a try. It's called The Sickness of Hedel.

I'll leave you with a bit of trivia. Some of the Dutch's favorite swear words are illnesses, cancer tops the list. Some others are pluerisy and typhus. Sodomite is another fav. Then there's cunt. Yes, this is actually an all time favorite Dutch swear word.

At one point in the monologue, Deelder says "Pleur toch even guaw op!" This means, "Pluersy away, and quick!" Deelder uses street language in his monologue to parody a certain type of foul-mouthed, angry Dutch woman, but the character could also easily be a man. There are a lot of churlish Dutch people walking around out there, and Deelder knows how to depict them.