Netherlands, Inc.

It's a bit of an irony that you can smoke marijuana here, smoke yourself silly, buy it in every neighborhood. It's cheap, too. You can get every variety. All sorts. Of course, it's produced here, so the state is making a nice fat profit. It's the same with prostitution.

What a blow it would be to the state revenue if they couldn't bring in all of those tax dollars anymore. Yes, the poor prostitutes have to pay tax, and taxes here are high. They're considered "independent business women," or "freelancers." Yes, freelance prostitutes. Those taxes are even higher, baby. Let's say 60+ percent, plus tax on any "profit" you make. Then you have to pay for your insurance. Let's face it, being a prostitute doesn't pay.

Until recently, you could also buy psychedelic mushrooms at the "Smart Shop," but they clamped down on that after a depressed tourist jumped to her death while on mushrooms into an Amsterdam canal.

Funny country. Funny laws. Small country. Small-minded laws.

If you have someone from outside the country send you a tube of homeopathic cream to Netherlands, Inc., you become a suspected criminal.

In a recent study, The Netherlands also ranked high on surveillance. They can listen to our telephone conversations, spy on us all they want. But importing a small tube of homeopathic cream is a criminal offense. If we try it again, and get caught, we will have to do jail time, or pay a steep fine. We're already received our first "warning."

Of course, Netherlands, Inc. can't profit from that small tube. They tell us, you must purchase it here, from a pharmacist. But the pharmacist doesn't sell it, and they can't make it, either. So, you're "screwed," no cream. Ha ha. The irony of being screwed in Netherlands, Inc.

Oh but, hey ladies (guys, too), if we want to get high, and sell our bodies, that's perfectly legal! But don't forget to register yourself as a freelancer, and of course, pay your taxes! That's right! Be a good little girl! As long as you don't get a skin condition in the process, you'll be just fine.