Monastary Shots....

I guess the best thing to do is to continue doing things, even when you have no clue what you're doing at all. Live life. What a cliché. Instead of sitting, frozen, waiting for life to happen to you, waiting for the key to fall down into your lap, waiting for things to change in your favor, waiting for happiness to happen, for a light to go off in your head, a surge, a burst of energy, when suddenly everything makes sense. You know who you are, why you're here, where you're going, what you're purpose is, and with that knowledge springing out of you, you can do something great, fulfill a dream, create a sensation, somehow, with something, you don't know what, but you want to. You want to change in a 100 ways. In order for any of this to happen, it might be necessary to leave the house, to leave your seat and your coffee machine behind. You might have to shed some of your fear. You might have to allow yourself some liberties. You might have to agree with yourself for once. You might have to actually make a decision about something, someday, at some hour or minute, you don't know when, but you do know, as you sit there cringing, that time is running out on you. Still, you wait, waiting, waiting, waiting. Every now and then, all of the pent up, dull energy you've been preserving for years under the surface might come out in a brief explosion, only to subside again into calm, a silence so still it cuts into you.